God of the Hard

I confess that sometimes I’ve abandoned writing projects because they got too hard. It’s not that I’m lazy or can’t plow through things, but somewhere in the midst of writing certain things I’ve grown weary of obstacles or felt that God vacated the premises. At those times I’ve questioned, “Is this really something God wants me to do? After all, His yoke is easy and His burden is light.”

And when things looked bleak and barren, I’ve quietly tucked away whatever I was writing into my “this must not be God’s will for me” folder and moved on to some other task.

I have no idea where I developed the philosophy that hard equates to “not God.” I didn’t have any trouble plowing through nursing school even though it was downright brutal. I didn’t have trouble birthing children even though I was sick for months during pregnancy and labored for 29+ excruciatingly painful hours with my first one. But something changed in my life when I became a stay-at-home mom and writer. I no longer had an overseer or a sure sense of the right way to go. Instead of plowing through the hard, I took it as a sign that I was going the wrong way.

I love what Joanna Weaver says about the process of writing her book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. 

“But when I sat down to write it, my words kept getting in the way. Chapter 2 alone had six different versions and as many different starts. It wasn’t anything like the Holy Spirit-inspired free flow I’d imagined when I’d signed the contract. In fact, it strangely resembled work. Hard work.” (page 197)

In Joanna’s case, I’m immensely grateful that she stuck with it and finished the book because it has ministered to me in powerful ways. The words of this prayer by E. Stanley Jones are the last words in her book:

”A Prayer for the Journey

O Christ, do not give me tasks equal to my powers,
but give me powers equal to my tasks,
for I want to be stretched by things too great for me.
I want to grow through the greatness of my tasks,
but I shall need your help for the growing.”

Amen!